It was like an esoteric allege,
If I ever told I would be left,
On the way from hillside lane and the unistead drive,
I had a batch of dirt on my knees and distance from being alive.
I sit on sunset cliffs, and the shore line grove,
Night time peers and I hold my apparel close,
It's cold out here and the memories are flashes,
Casted out and left on the outfield of vastness.
I caress my own shoulders and breathe in a sigh,
The pines are nestling around my presence up high,
The week has been long but tonight will be longer,
Can't feel my toes and my heart is at a stutter.
Sinking into the ground I torn,
Looking out the endless visions of demure shores,
I set myself aside and see the blue light,
It must be easy to give up to the weak fight.
I use constant talks with myself to keep myself awake,
If I fall asleep, the creatures will come and take.
My eyes are getting dreary,
I hope someone soon finds me.
Friday, March 5, 2010
It's already here
Just licking the end points clean now,
The open pastures that realm inside my head,
They are a black mess,
The dingoes are eating the shrubbery called " last food."
Many said that he may come soon.
I opened my closet and found misery in what to wear, for who cares,
Mother lays her head down and see's blank pages,
The porch is filled with erased hop scotch lines and dirt puddles,
I seek a answer, but get questions instead,
Will all turn to the same, each other for refuge,
Dawn appears and you still cower behind the walls of your room.
Trying to make sense of a disaster may be possible,
But trying to fix it may be impossible,
I can see lonely faces, and discouraged places,
The hands that need to be reached out to,
They are trying to rummage whats left in their pockets.
Evil lies in most eyes,
It circles twice around your cornea, and tells you that things are going down,
The screaming girl next door, is asking for help,
But you don't care, you just call the landlord for assistance,
You need to see that everyone needs someone,
Especially how things are going now.
Connections are placed on earth to seal a definable allowance,
That you must pursue a friendship, not wait while many ask why,
Connect with the person next to you and tell them you think they are great,
Instead of feeling lost and always in a debate.
I felt thunder yesterday and knew that the clouds will be dark as soon as I stepped outside,
But I decided not to hide..
I would rather feel the lightening, then be frightened of whats to come,
I will be your wing tonight,
I will tell you that everything is going to be hell,
But soon the day will come when disaster will be done.
You will see you need to still have hope in order to really feel true tears,
Because your body releases the pain through your mind, but never through your fears.
The deep horizons of density will soon turn to cirrocumulus,
Lay here with me on this pastured land,
And wait while we discover what lies in our hands.
Manifestations..
The open pastures that realm inside my head,
They are a black mess,
The dingoes are eating the shrubbery called " last food."
Many said that he may come soon.
I opened my closet and found misery in what to wear, for who cares,
Mother lays her head down and see's blank pages,
The porch is filled with erased hop scotch lines and dirt puddles,
I seek a answer, but get questions instead,
Will all turn to the same, each other for refuge,
Dawn appears and you still cower behind the walls of your room.
Trying to make sense of a disaster may be possible,
But trying to fix it may be impossible,
I can see lonely faces, and discouraged places,
The hands that need to be reached out to,
They are trying to rummage whats left in their pockets.
Evil lies in most eyes,
It circles twice around your cornea, and tells you that things are going down,
The screaming girl next door, is asking for help,
But you don't care, you just call the landlord for assistance,
You need to see that everyone needs someone,
Especially how things are going now.
Connections are placed on earth to seal a definable allowance,
That you must pursue a friendship, not wait while many ask why,
Connect with the person next to you and tell them you think they are great,
Instead of feeling lost and always in a debate.
I felt thunder yesterday and knew that the clouds will be dark as soon as I stepped outside,
But I decided not to hide..
I would rather feel the lightening, then be frightened of whats to come,
I will be your wing tonight,
I will tell you that everything is going to be hell,
But soon the day will come when disaster will be done.
You will see you need to still have hope in order to really feel true tears,
Because your body releases the pain through your mind, but never through your fears.
The deep horizons of density will soon turn to cirrocumulus,
Lay here with me on this pastured land,
And wait while we discover what lies in our hands.
Manifestations..
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I felt his hand rinse over my face with my hopes being placed right under his palms. I would have like to think that never meeting him would have set me to better days, but that would be foolish of me.
I think I am dreaming, because he has never touched me. He has never been in the presence of me. I have never seen his lips move in front of my gawking eyes. I have only heard the angelicy of his voice echo through the night drifts. I don't see him when he makes mistakes, or do I when he is perfect. He could have been a memory, but what is a memory without imagery. Is it just endless words you think you see him speak. " Remember that day..." but there was no " that day".
When you first saw me, was it in a bookstore, or was it when I was waiting in line to get dinner. Did you meet me when I went to that bon fire, or did you meet me when your friends invited you over.
Can I ask what you smelled when you were near me. Was it the smell of vanilla I wear all the time, or was it the lavender I put on occasions.
What did I wear on the first day I was with you. Was it my red floral summer dress, or the black jeans with a cotton top. What do you day about what I wore, were you silent or were you enthralled.
Can you think of when we first held hands. Was yours sweaty or was mine dry. Did you feel my lotion or did you feel my pulsating heart.
When we had that moment where you looked me in the eyes, did you get dancing fireflies in your chest. Did you stop breathing and wonder what would happen next. Did you see me as something more then just a friend.
When you stopped looking in my eyes and felt my two lips. Did you think they were soft and did you think I would kiss you back. Did you expect to just give me a peck, or were your intentions greater. When you kissed me with intensity, did it feel like forever, or was it everything you dreamed of.
When you touched my hair to feel my thick strands, did you pull me in closer because you wanted to hold me. Did you want to make me feel loved.
When you rested my head against your chest, did you want me to hear your heart. Did you want me to feel you tremble because you were feeling like you met the one. Did you think I knew the same.
The day you said you loved me, did you mean it.
The day you met me, was but a fantasy.
My make believe.
A delusional imagery.
But you said you loved me...
so now what?
I think I am dreaming, because he has never touched me. He has never been in the presence of me. I have never seen his lips move in front of my gawking eyes. I have only heard the angelicy of his voice echo through the night drifts. I don't see him when he makes mistakes, or do I when he is perfect. He could have been a memory, but what is a memory without imagery. Is it just endless words you think you see him speak. " Remember that day..." but there was no " that day".
When you first saw me, was it in a bookstore, or was it when I was waiting in line to get dinner. Did you meet me when I went to that bon fire, or did you meet me when your friends invited you over.
Can I ask what you smelled when you were near me. Was it the smell of vanilla I wear all the time, or was it the lavender I put on occasions.
What did I wear on the first day I was with you. Was it my red floral summer dress, or the black jeans with a cotton top. What do you day about what I wore, were you silent or were you enthralled.
Can you think of when we first held hands. Was yours sweaty or was mine dry. Did you feel my lotion or did you feel my pulsating heart.
When we had that moment where you looked me in the eyes, did you get dancing fireflies in your chest. Did you stop breathing and wonder what would happen next. Did you see me as something more then just a friend.
When you stopped looking in my eyes and felt my two lips. Did you think they were soft and did you think I would kiss you back. Did you expect to just give me a peck, or were your intentions greater. When you kissed me with intensity, did it feel like forever, or was it everything you dreamed of.
When you touched my hair to feel my thick strands, did you pull me in closer because you wanted to hold me. Did you want to make me feel loved.
When you rested my head against your chest, did you want me to hear your heart. Did you want me to feel you tremble because you were feeling like you met the one. Did you think I knew the same.
The day you said you loved me, did you mean it.
The day you met me, was but a fantasy.
My make believe.
A delusional imagery.
But you said you loved me...
so now what?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I take all there is, and leave it where it shall be found,
The reserve I thus betwixt has shriveled on high elevations,
And matters for others to example, have not been with pleasant satisfactions,
Magnitude you prevail has long ceased to flood,
I watch with patience, and only hope gestures will scale first.
Will thou feel you like once before,
On cottages with jagged muses,
I will see you on the moon in which was far longed,
I must keep to a comment I knew would take flight,
Please mercy, will'st take hands on open fires,
They exhume so much preasure, for shall it be desires,
Take away what once was wrong, leave on cotton with pickers that belong.
I only knew what was once before, I only wondered what not asked for,
This is a symbolism of ones many triumphs,
To take over and leave me at fault,
On echoes and lions hearts that exhaust,
They steer in the directions that cast me afar,
For many passages leave me depart.
Chastened by the greatest of all,
You watched me believe, now do you see me fall?
I seek none, and only the darkest rooms,
For there I will find solace, and power in my discovered lume.
Take me in this moment of discretion,
Maybe a revolution will take place,
The end is near, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Amidst the longest drain, you feel above and among the insane,
This is where the epiphany lies,
You see yourself for you- and no longer compromise.
The reserve I thus betwixt has shriveled on high elevations,
And matters for others to example, have not been with pleasant satisfactions,
Magnitude you prevail has long ceased to flood,
I watch with patience, and only hope gestures will scale first.
Will thou feel you like once before,
On cottages with jagged muses,
I will see you on the moon in which was far longed,
I must keep to a comment I knew would take flight,
Please mercy, will'st take hands on open fires,
They exhume so much preasure, for shall it be desires,
Take away what once was wrong, leave on cotton with pickers that belong.
I only knew what was once before, I only wondered what not asked for,
This is a symbolism of ones many triumphs,
To take over and leave me at fault,
On echoes and lions hearts that exhaust,
They steer in the directions that cast me afar,
For many passages leave me depart.
Chastened by the greatest of all,
You watched me believe, now do you see me fall?
I seek none, and only the darkest rooms,
For there I will find solace, and power in my discovered lume.
Take me in this moment of discretion,
Maybe a revolution will take place,
The end is near, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Amidst the longest drain, you feel above and among the insane,
This is where the epiphany lies,
You see yourself for you- and no longer compromise.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Describing this one word..
Ignition of my own blunt lines that I bury in this dirt,
The unknown talks that spell through an invisible aerial,
I watched all the lies that many have chalked down a board so black,
Believe me when I say- I am not that.
The beauty of this day is radiating off my skin,
It feels it and sinks it down to my sweet side,
I would see the dark cumulus before and think of depression,
Now when I look up, I see the cold rush,
I see the swirls of electrical currents, that are alive and absolute,
The mountains refining in royal blues and the whistles of the hugging winds.
The rose I gave to a past valentine was folded in tin foil,
I wanted to keep it from wilting and to it keep fresh and pristine,
But now I realize that I should have let its pedals drop,
Let it rot and let it die,
To let the flower feel alive and free, and to feel suffering,
And to feel that there is life on the other side.
I flip my pillow over to grace against the gelid flush,
I drift to sleep and I have flutters of compact colors,
Maybe some distant memories, and maybe lost kisses,
But the arguments were not there, and the mistakes were gone.
The florals of patchy quilts and white sheets bundle me in a trance,
I awaken to this cloudy day,
The floor aches in my early bird dance,
I start singing elton john songs, and remember me in a handmade princess dress,
My tiarra sparkling and my ballerina shoes to match.
I listen to the word.. I listen to his word.
I get up to Laguna hills and the golden blaze it still emits,
Within the canopy of darkness, I see one hill shining bright,
I take my sketchbook out and start to draw,
I drew everything but that hill,
That light that blooms off it, will transfer to me today,
I don't need to describe it,
It went through my skin,
Down to my sweet side.
I felt his word....
Ignition of my own blunt lines that I bury in this dirt,
The unknown talks that spell through an invisible aerial,
I watched all the lies that many have chalked down a board so black,
Believe me when I say- I am not that.
The beauty of this day is radiating off my skin,
It feels it and sinks it down to my sweet side,
I would see the dark cumulus before and think of depression,
Now when I look up, I see the cold rush,
I see the swirls of electrical currents, that are alive and absolute,
The mountains refining in royal blues and the whistles of the hugging winds.
The rose I gave to a past valentine was folded in tin foil,
I wanted to keep it from wilting and to it keep fresh and pristine,
But now I realize that I should have let its pedals drop,
Let it rot and let it die,
To let the flower feel alive and free, and to feel suffering,
And to feel that there is life on the other side.
I flip my pillow over to grace against the gelid flush,
I drift to sleep and I have flutters of compact colors,
Maybe some distant memories, and maybe lost kisses,
But the arguments were not there, and the mistakes were gone.
The florals of patchy quilts and white sheets bundle me in a trance,
I awaken to this cloudy day,
The floor aches in my early bird dance,
I start singing elton john songs, and remember me in a handmade princess dress,
My tiarra sparkling and my ballerina shoes to match.
I listen to the word.. I listen to his word.
I get up to Laguna hills and the golden blaze it still emits,
Within the canopy of darkness, I see one hill shining bright,
I take my sketchbook out and start to draw,
I drew everything but that hill,
That light that blooms off it, will transfer to me today,
I don't need to describe it,
It went through my skin,
Down to my sweet side.
I felt his word....
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Expelling an airstream upon an open day- and I let it go then,
I was fearful that times would be regressing rather the progressing,
Once I looked to you, the acquiescence was not the way,
And the bottom of my fingers wrapped high on the discharge,
Losing everything, and giving all I got, was not the answer to what I sought.
Thus the gain I was bestowed this morning, was bright and pure,
It channeled inside my muscles that were sore,
It creased under my lids that I have forgotten to open,
I reaped deep in the makers eyes, and could see the content I finally was gifted,
The ivory and brass that is inside, not on the outside,
It was so cleansing and powerful.
Beyond my measures and prodding, it was right here this whole time,
To feel a freedom that is unmarked and unwritten,
No one can buy that, no one can ask for it,
It is placed within your mind at birth,
To uncover it, is your own desired attempts to retrieve it.
I can see you still though, you are there,
You have the same expressions and the same attempts,
Yet now...
Now...
I am my own axenic culture.
I am a child and have inncoent needs now,
I can close out the bad and confusing,
Building something with no blocks, would have never worked,
I am going to stick to what I know,
And delete the things uncalled for.
There is a heart storm today,
It travelled far to get here,
Now that it appears at my house,
I do not shut my doors and close my windows,
I leave the place to sample the pain, and let my true heart conquer the storm.
I see you, and it doesn't bother me anymore,
I see you all, and vociferate the words from truth,
I lowered my head today, and let the rush of honesty and patience take over.
I am far beyond and in the midst of change.
thank you...
I was fearful that times would be regressing rather the progressing,
Once I looked to you, the acquiescence was not the way,
And the bottom of my fingers wrapped high on the discharge,
Losing everything, and giving all I got, was not the answer to what I sought.
Thus the gain I was bestowed this morning, was bright and pure,
It channeled inside my muscles that were sore,
It creased under my lids that I have forgotten to open,
I reaped deep in the makers eyes, and could see the content I finally was gifted,
The ivory and brass that is inside, not on the outside,
It was so cleansing and powerful.
Beyond my measures and prodding, it was right here this whole time,
To feel a freedom that is unmarked and unwritten,
No one can buy that, no one can ask for it,
It is placed within your mind at birth,
To uncover it, is your own desired attempts to retrieve it.
I can see you still though, you are there,
You have the same expressions and the same attempts,
Yet now...
Now...
I am my own axenic culture.
I am a child and have inncoent needs now,
I can close out the bad and confusing,
Building something with no blocks, would have never worked,
I am going to stick to what I know,
And delete the things uncalled for.
There is a heart storm today,
It travelled far to get here,
Now that it appears at my house,
I do not shut my doors and close my windows,
I leave the place to sample the pain, and let my true heart conquer the storm.
I see you, and it doesn't bother me anymore,
I see you all, and vociferate the words from truth,
I lowered my head today, and let the rush of honesty and patience take over.
I am far beyond and in the midst of change.
thank you...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
arid
She was once cloistered in a barricade, not meaning to be there. The colors of the air were red and violent. She escaped from the place she was, and now you can hear her stroll. The bangles on here wrists jingle and slide back and forth against her moist skin. The Tuscany of her dark features as the highlights of her face shown off the commencing sun. She took the deepest breath and covered her mouth so she could remember she was substantial. Her body would sway with aided force, like the grassy meadows that she had forgotten. The dirt was like puddles around here bare feet. She could feel the textures that were hidden under the callice skin of her heals. Amongst the whirlwind of thoughts she was unable to control, her mind was playing tricks with her. Thus far, she could barely make out a oasis that laid on flat grounds. With the potency that arose around her fully alive body, she casted herself in fast motions. Making sure that her abilities would not be shadowed upon the time she would get there. The ten acrches she felt crusted intently upon her lips was needing the quench of bedewed water.
She felt the dirt become etchy rocks and stones and from there glass and blades. She kept perceviering with the strive she had for thirst and reviving her state of being. The calice skin later turned to a mess of muscle tissue and blood. She kept going. She exampled herself from a testament of the book. That she will never give up. The path became a scortching flood of desolate nothing. As she took a deep breath again, the stregth was being lost. She valued the last minutes she felt she would have. Craving the end, and yet wanting the end of this conquer much more.
Her knees fell upon the lands and her fingers were left empty and shooken. Looking up over her luminous strands, she is soaked in her own sweat and tears. She tries to focus her eyes to envision the surroundings one last time. Then as her hands drew to her face, the light silver purified her blear and desiccated lips. She was ecstatic as she realized she had made it. The water trickled down her chest and forearms as her heart pulsed with exhaustion and relief.
She knew from that point on, life has begun now.
She felt the dirt become etchy rocks and stones and from there glass and blades. She kept perceviering with the strive she had for thirst and reviving her state of being. The calice skin later turned to a mess of muscle tissue and blood. She kept going. She exampled herself from a testament of the book. That she will never give up. The path became a scortching flood of desolate nothing. As she took a deep breath again, the stregth was being lost. She valued the last minutes she felt she would have. Craving the end, and yet wanting the end of this conquer much more.
Her knees fell upon the lands and her fingers were left empty and shooken. Looking up over her luminous strands, she is soaked in her own sweat and tears. She tries to focus her eyes to envision the surroundings one last time. Then as her hands drew to her face, the light silver purified her blear and desiccated lips. She was ecstatic as she realized she had made it. The water trickled down her chest and forearms as her heart pulsed with exhaustion and relief.
She knew from that point on, life has begun now.
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