He died and lives

The spikes were situated crosswise from each other. The tight knotted ropes barricaded on either side of the gravitating spikes. The stone hedges circled the center where it was placed. The pillars were high and distant from the monument. The guards placed outside and inside. The individuals placing duty were beyond the courtyard. He was placed upon the outer base of the centered stone hedge.

The soft numb skin of his back blared before every soul. The tender likeness he consisted of was being held in the hands of the guards. He was untouchable and never pardoned with a pitiful glare. No one asked if he was apparent of what was happening, he knew, and he wanted it. The air was chilled and his bare chest took a deep breath before the beginning and the end of the torment to the unsaved people.

He looked at her and stood against the stone. When he straightned his posture he grasped his stregth, showing in his veins and angling upon his spine. The whispers of the many who were lost violently and silently clustered in his thoughts. He could only seek out the many but see the one woman who helped him seek the many. He never shed a tear, only shivered for the hell that lived here.

The breath he took was broken with the heathenish slash. Over and over, till the sins of many were ripped open over his back. He lifted every time ten slashes embedded, then took another breath. The ribs were shown and the blood flooded in gallons. No human could endure this magnitude of pain and suffering. The millions of humans could though, and he had the millions inside him. This was only the beginning.

Life took on the days of saved and found.

Bright

" Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere that I can feel safe, from myself, and everything else."


I looked up upon the midnight hozion, and the sun beamed low over the small moon. I got up from my watery bed lays, and drifted towards my window. I peaked over the balcony and heard my mothers and fathers voices whisper behind the paper thin walls. I could see dark fog and a figure in the midst. I heard my fathers voice rise and shatters inside another room. I looked through my transparent curtains and could feel the frigid breeze carry my skin on a lucid ride. Then the figure that hovered near my window pane came for my hand. I heard screams and rattles at my door knob. My hand reached for the unknown figure, and the winds took me with it.

I held on tight to this figure as it carried me to a place I was unsure and yet not remotely frightened. Amidst the darkness and through the abyssal I could make out glimmers of bright beautiful colors. Then what seemed to be Christmas lights turned into white purity on top of a rooftop. Chimneys were below my feet as we rose higher and higher. The trees of willows and spruce turned into a sea of pines and oaks. I felt the moon against my light skin, the shadows hug my hair and eyes.

The velocity we were going was brilliant. The fast radical of the different angles was making me feel free. I could sense the desserts sweet sands slip under my toes and the cool calm tones of the forest greens take my heart on a humid hill. We reached so far through unknown territories. I still had no idea what this fogy figurine was, but I enjoyed it's company.

The cave was dark but it took me through it. The chlorine smell with granite and disulphide hidden in its caverns were invigorating. I was placed on top of a smooth stone and there before me was a glow that could blind you if you stood in front of it. The shadows of the cave hid my eyes from the glow. I felt my knees fall to the ground as I let my heart have it. The effulgence was piercing and painful and it made me whimper. I cried from the joy of being in front of this power and beauty.

The figure went towards the visible light and grasped my hand to take me with. I pulled it back and was frightned to be engulfed by the brightness. The figure silenced my thoughts and as if it were reading my mind told me it will be okay. I cried. I surrendered my hand and walked with the figure. The radiance took over.

" Where do you want to go?" The figure whispered.

"Anywhere that I can feel safe, from myself, and everything else." I asked.

" Welcome to heaven my child." The light answered.

The Lost

The chair slid back and all I heard was your cast,
How the whole place shook as I heard it drop,
The pin needle of your pain,
It was so intolerable as we huddled in this cell.

I asked for mercy when I was placed here,
Pushing and shoving in the dead,
Brute looked and spat at my entirety,
My feet could not budge, but he made me fall,
On rotting and putrid grounds,
I asked what made life give me these days,
But the pack of people lost there prayers many months before,
As I wiped off the tears unto the floor.

This is the bottomless pit where people arrive,
One's who are always lost and never alive.

They threw me in with the rest,
The dirt and steaming nudity of the depressed.

Do you see

I like it when you know the day is going to be good. It is a humble sweet aroma when I walk out onto these steps. The gorgeous scents that stricken my nostrils as I walk with my sandals on a sling. The soak of the fresh bayside breezes. It seems like everything comes into one when you are in a good vibe.

But here we begin...
I am with a seed that has been planted but has been forgotten to be watered. I hang on the car mantel with my string lightly coming undone, a balloon ready to float away. Water that will never be wine. Hope that will never be a destiny.
I walk into the cafeteria and see many faces, but just a blank stir of nothing. The lights carry from outside and inside the bulbs. I see and hear the laughter of influential minds, and some lost.

I carry my books in a bag ready to rip, but I like the clutter that surrounds in a creative bag such as mine. With its hand woven leaves and flowers, many colors and traces. I clutch onto the handles as I enter the food court. I am hungry but only look at the menu. I see the prices before the food. I search my mind for an answer for my stomach, but only find consequences. The many things I could be getting with something to eat. I decide to fast for today.

I head back into the cafeteria and see many glances looking in my direction. I let my hair hide my face as I sit in a corner that was made for loners like me. I sit and scramble inside my bag for my notepad. I write and draw all the places that I would like to be other then here.

Fluorescent forest- With light shades of green and opal drops of black leaves. I will lose myself in you and make a maze to keep me away from the hunters and the creatures. I will be a mate for the wind and the earth. I will keep in the hidden holes of oak trees and eat the air I breathe to keep me slim and naturally beautiful. I will live here and when it is night I will sleep in the canopies of many pine and evergreens.
I look up and see that no one is watching me. So I turn the page and return.

Railroad tracks and old theaters- I like to throw rocks into the empty spaces of tracks. I will kick dirt and let the filth give me happiness. The sun will blaze accross my tank and let me feel the humid sticky air. The trains will come and never stop. I will hear the loud thunder of the conducting sounds. I will let my hair fly away as it passes on by. I have no headphones on, but I hear music. I see old 50's people and they are playing old music in there classic cars. They are drinking shakes and ready to go see a movie at the neon lit theater on the other side of the tracks. I suck in the eighty degree weather. I drink the essence of living alone. How wonderful it is to be a rebel and letting the world troubles fall off my shoelaces and into the sunbeam dirt. The tracks cut off at the end( about 1000 miles from home).

Loud noises are made when someone laughs at someone else's mistakes. I disapprove but go back to what I was doing.

Somewhere outback- "The willow tree is not that far!" I yelled at the top pf my lungs. I ran to the tree and climbed it all the way up on the cornered edge. He looks at me and says he will never be able to do that. I give him a lift and when he got up I followed. I told him this is the place I was talking about. The world shone right back at us. The cities scraped on our knees and the forests were far in the distance, the tracks were on the left, the animals grazed in the pastures, and the cottage pillowed smoke from it's chimneys. I said that this place would be in out minds forever. We will never forget it. I took his hand and placed a ordinary rock in his palm. He gave me a discouraging expression, and I threw the rock against the trunk of the tree. It broke in half and he gazed at it before he smiled. The rock shone in purple and translucent shades. It sparkled for the world above the willow tree. It blazed for him. I told him to keep it and never lose it. It will take you to our place.
I started to cry as I drew the last branch to the willow tree. I remembered when I gave the stone to him. He held it in his hand before he went away. He said it took him to his happy place. To our place.

I got out of my seat and head out to the opening area outside the cafeteria. Where the trees stood tall and the grass grew long. I fell to the cement as my legs buckled up. I grew numb and I had the last image of my brother in my head. How he held that stone before he left.

" I will see the world now, and I finally get to dance above those canopies of forests." he dropped the stone to his side. His expression left and his voice distantly gone. My innocent dreams left with him.


He gets to be in that good vibe now.

You have to think of something else when the person you put so much into goes away. How do you do that though? Where do you start to get over, and where do you end the days so indistinct?


The petite figure she had was something at an envy for many. The skies were a haze of gray today and she looked in her oval mirror among her vanity and saw only desperate lines sashaying her ivory cheek bones. She took the powder her mother gave her two years back and showered her face in it. The eyebrows were a cloud of dust under the layers of white. She looked at here face in disagreement. She knew she was missing something. Taking the maroon crushed tomato lipstick, smothering it over her lips in jittery clusters, she looked at herself again and soft wet silk slithered down her skin.

She saw a girl who would lose everything today. Such a fool she was to do this to herself. Looking like a clown/hooker, she carried her self into the restroom and rinsed the access plaster off her delicate skin. To the closet that walked straight into a black hole, she slouched at the thought of what to wear on such a dreadful day. The black button down with pin stripes that made her look anorexic, the coat that made her look like she was fat, the slacks that made her like a man, the pencil skirt that gave her big calves, or the blue tank with jeans. She found an old shirt with holes in it, and sweats that she doesn't know when she washed them.

The counter was filled with mixed belongings and receipts from who knows when. She gazed among the mess, and saw the picture that stood out. Taking it lightly in her hand, she almost forgot what he looked like. She just saw him yesterday morning, but now it seems they have already made the descent to departure. Wrapping the garbage bag twice she saw it through the translucent sheet. The gray haze outside turned darker as she walked outside.

She was in another place in her mind, her face was pale and nude. The hustle of the wind blew through her loose shirt and sweats. Hugging her arms close, she felt as if she should rush. Why should she rush though? She reminded herself that this was a dreadful day, and should be taken slow. She waltz down to a long haul and carried herself to the sounds that surrounded her. The cold did not rupture her depression.

Should she do it?

The cars passing by were making the winds faster. The cold getting colder. She liked it though. The cold took her mind off what she did not want her mind to hear. How scared and lonely she felt already. How hard this day was going to be. The winds would pierce her eyes and her allergies caused her tears to fall, but she doesn't know if they were real. She could see the little vanishing points the cars made, the empty space between each vehicle. She could slip right through one of them and be destructed with one swift move. This was something she could contemplate after this day is over.

When the stoplight said she could walk across, she raged in thoughts towards the drivers watching her. She wanted to scream, " HELP ME." No one hears your thoughts though, only your own troublesome self.

When she sat down at the bench she knew would be her last solitary moment of peace. She watched couples everywhere. Mother caring for her husband. Teenager with little teenage girlfriend kissing. Then a man taking pictures of his wife against a romantic pond. Then she created the image of what others saw her as. Dark shadows around a girl who wanted to cry.

Then she watched him come closer. the air became frighteningly frigid, and the bench became large. She felt small and nervous.

5:35 p.m...

5:35 p.m 12/13

5:35 p.m 12/14

5:35 p.m 12/15

5:35 p.m 12/16


There is this girl. I watch her. She sits on this bench in Aleen Wit Park, and she sits like a statue. She has long strawberry wavy hair with soft pale and delicate skin. Her cheeks turn flush in this cold. She sits and stares out at one single point in the park. She does this for three hours before she has to go.

It's like she is watching her life walk away. She watches that distant path that carries the leaves of her soul to a wind more suited.

I watched when it happened. When he left her.

I asked why he left, she said he didn't.

Ways to think

This is to much to go through. The dark and hinted dreams are found when I think of you to much. Today must be Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday. I am wrong lately.

I have found that lurking in the dark is my old stuffed bear and my chewed on comb. I see the piled clothes that need to be washed. I see the papers that are due tomorrow sitting in front of my blind cactus eyes. I have crap to do.

I heard that half the eastern border is being invaded by smoke. The smoke filled the lungs of millions of innocent people. Then I heard that my parents split up four years ago and I wasn't aware. I listened on the phone in a death tone that someone said they got robbed. I am wondering what to do about it.

I laid in my bed with the lace covers hiding my tired face, and I thought about rain. I peered outside and saw the rain. I sunk under my covers a little more and felt the warmth. I peered through my window and it was scorching sunny. I had nothing on and didn't know what to wear now.

The yelling upstairs and the singing next door is combining into a sorrowful orchestra. I went into my bathroom and listened to the streaming waters of someone peeing. I then dragged myself in my room and heard moans and unspoken words. I can't find peace, or what is peace.

His golden ridged losing grace, said to me three years ago that he had enough. The guy with the smile as large as his pockets, said two and a half years ago that he cheated on me. The boy that was humble and sweet, said to me one year ago that he was afraid of kids. A man said to me a week ago that he would fall in love with me. As well as fifteen before that man. I think I will stay in my dark place.

My bear is all I need right now.

It is Monday, time for a new week.

I like this shelter, it combines with a verve of justified principal,
A statement to long to say, but greatly valued when thought,
Standing inside a hope will do you no good, but acting upon,
Will bring you what you caught.

I slant my hips to the beautiful jaded air,
My watery eyes from allergies dry to the music,
The tones that life gives off,
It lets me die and rebirth something better,
My arms are above and my feet ground everywhere.

Reach for me cause I am here,
It's cooling to not want to tear,
It feels so lifted and gone from a bound,
This combined phenomenon and changing sound.

"Wow!" I said as I stood in churn,
My garmets that were old now fall to this burn,
Blazin through a new alighted beam,
Joining arms with liberty and all blessed with purity.

I like this taste, and I like this feel,
I love this flow, and I craved this appeal,
I think I can see it and you guided me their,
Eternity that was always, so external and fair.

Reach for me, cause I am yours,
Here to honor, here for your words.

I let in and I let out,
Breathing all you are, breathing what you amount.

It is so beautiful,
I'll find you there when you find it too.