Empty Love Dreams

Here she is...

The room is wide with a draft from above, 18 inches across and 20 inches long were the vents perimeter. When I entered I felt an imbalance, as if you were walking down a long hallway and began to feel light headed. I let the room carry me to her. I sat down near a sweater that wasn't mine. She had shorter hair then me and looked quite pale at this point. Her elf like features gave her a surreal sort of beauty. The beauty was fading though. It only made me wonder what gods intentions were for this child. Why did he let her be here on this molted ball we call earth. What was his point?

" Why do you have lipstick on?" she yelled across the yard.
I looked at her with a curiosity at her remark, I said my lips were made that way from eating to many choke berry's. She asked what they were, but I said they don't have anymore. In truth they really didn't have them anymore, they were only seasoned in my days. I grabbed her hand with a twirl of her hair accross my forearm and took her inside the house.

She was one of those children that would stare at you with an innocent smirk. As if you had something on your face but really they just wanted to get a reaction out of you. It was different with Aeriel though. She would look at you and smile, then when she got tired of staring she would hug you. I thought her actions and the way she gave you those hugs was so angelic of her.

Aeriel is an orphan. I met her seven months ago. She is nine years old and has a condition. I knew she had this condition to begin with, but there was this aura inside her eyes that I just wanted to be a part of. When I adopted her I was given instructions and for warning that she may not make it past a year. She seemed to have more life in her then any adult I have seen. She exuded beauty and intelligence. As soon as I made eyes on her I knew she was a part of me.

" What is this?" that was her favorite phrase. She loved to question things and test reality. One day when I took her home she asked why there was no fish in the pond we had. I told her that I could never keep up with fish, plus the creatures might eat them. The next day I found two fish in the pond. I asked her where she got these fish, she said that the cat promised it would not eat it. I laughed at a lot she did, she never asked only insured me that everything would work itself out.
Aeriel was easy to get along with, she gave happiness and smiles to anything she would encounter. Which it made it very easy for her to grow attached to me and me to her. I would watch her as she would sleep sometimes. The hard in and outs she would inhale and exhale... seemed so healthy for a few months. The fourth month grew into deep respiratory problems, but I still could only see the beauty in her sleep. The dreams she danced to under her eyelids.

"Can I get a unicorn?" She started to ask this around the fifth month. It was not one of those make believe wanting from a child, but she persisted with serious composure. She wanted this horse with a horn so badly. I decided that I would paint her ceiling in a fairy tale theme. When it was complete she would see her unicorn every time she would fall to sleep. Aeriel never cried, nor did she whimper. When she was asleep she would have tears that would fall down her face though. I could tell that she had some inner trouble that needed to be released. Whenever she would look at her unicorn she would smile though. Every time before sleep she would smile at me then the unicorn and back at me again. I loved her.

The mornings were my favorite because she would come to me before I would wake up and play with my hair lightly. I would never notice till I would wake up. She said that I would be dreaming so quietly that she could hear the water dripping from the kitchen sink. Little wise crack she was too. She was the only thing that made me smile, and maybe I could relate to those tears she never shown. Maybe that's why I needed her.

It's not that I am not able to have my own child, it is just that I chose her before I could even try and have one. She was something that I would never be able to conjure up. Gods most prized delicacy I would call her.

" Why is he on the ground?" She saw a man with a bucket in his hands. I told her he didn't have a house or a job because something went wrong in his life. She looked at me briefly with a silence that lasted five minutes. She grabbed the man by the hand and told him that god made him to move and god made him to eat. She smiled at him and gave him a hug. The man picked himself up and said she was right. I never saw that man beg again. She made miracles happen.

When I walked into the room it was cold and not made for someone like her. I took my jacket off and placed it on her feet. She was not moving, only her head was angled at my face. She gazed painfully in my eyes and my heart was so dead at that point. She still smiled at me as her featurs fell off her. I felt a tear roll onto my hand as her eyes began to wilt up. I said it was okay to cry now.. it's okay to feel this way. She held my hand tighter and asked if I could take care of the fish, I smirked at her. She smiled again, but this time it went away. Her pulse growing slower.

" What is this?" She looked unreal, as if seeing right through me to another place in time. I felt her shake and her pulse pause. Tears started to streak off my face and melt with hers. I whispered and pulled closer to her face, " It's a nice place, and someone is waiting for you there. He will take care of you and play with you all the time." She smiled and her eyes fell shut. Her release of her hands made my hands grow tighter around her wrist.

I loved her, and god made her here not because he wanted to curse her, but to show miracles can come true. She was someone that gave life to things that were hopeless. I let go of her hand and laid a stuffed unicorn in replace. I stayed near her bed till the nurse arrived.